There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are five even more of them.
Not really, I don't hate these things, they're just things I've noticed over the last couple of days. Things that have made me go "hmm", to quote C+C Music Factory. This will be a short blog, I'm only writing it due to creative pressure from Simon, and I'm nothing if not a spineless pushover. So here's some things I've noticed.
5. There are "help points" scattered around the university. They look like this:
Very handy, useful for emergencies etc. But they're in such weird places. Like down footpaths. I know late at night a footpath can be dangerous, but if someone's being raped then is this the best precaution? Can they lean over and press the button and say:
"Help, I'm being raped."
"Where are you?"
"Down a footpath."
"We have these help points down all the footpaths, which one is it?"
"The one with the rapist?"
"We can't be sure that the rapist is there all the time, that doesn't help."
"Any distinguishing features?"
"No I mean of the footpath."
"Oh. Well he's gone now anyway. Thanks for the help! Point."
Or maybe its just there for lonely people who want a late night chat down a footpath. I'm sure they're helpful really, I just wish they'd existed 50 years ago...
4. Talking of rape, on the news yesterday there was a story about a rapist who'd been jailed, and they interviewed his mum, who said something along the lines of: "I don't know why he'd rape someone, after I'd specifically told him all about how I was raped as a child." And he was messed up you say? I'm no psychologist but I think we're getting somewhere.
3. It must be really tough being Future Ted from How I Met Your Mother, having to start everything he says with, "Kids..." It must have got him into some serious trouble.
2. I bought some gum, the kind that comes in a box as opposed to a packet:
And on the top of the box it says (using pictures): "In the car, at home, on the train... Take it anywhere!" Thank you Extra, for allowing me to take my gum where I like! Its so much more convenient than having to sit in isolation to chew. And having to fill out those complicated gum-relocation legal forms. Finally, a solution to the problem of un-transportble, massive, unwieldy packets of gum.
1. Yesterday I saw a woman walk right passed a homeless man asking for change, ignoring him, only to then go straight into Shelter, the shop for the homeless charity. It struck me as quite a funny state of affairs. She should have offered him the excuse.
"Excuse me, can you spare any change?"
"Oh no don't worry, I'm just going to buy something in Shelter now."
"Can't you just give me the money now? Buying something in Shelter won't directly help me."
"It will help all homeless people. I really do want to help homeless people."
"Then why don't you just give the money to me? A homeless person?"
"I also want to buy a scarf."
"I live in the doorway of KFC."