Thursday, 26 April 2012


There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are three more of them.

I know you don't watch a lot of TV shows, because you have "better" things to do, like "work" or "standing up". But as I've said before, it's your loss, because some TV shows are brilliant. Most of the time.

Even the best shows occasionally let themselves down. Well actually, the BEST shows don't; Six Feet Under and Community never do, for instance. But in a lot of great TV shows, there'll be scenes that stick out awkwardly, like they've left their flies undone. Here are three examples of bad scenes in good TV shows:

3. None of these adoption pens work! (Lost, #1.10: "Raised by Another.")

I could write entire blogs about stupid scenes in Lost, but this one struck me as particularly fascinating. If I was signing papers to confirm that I'd give my child up for adoption, and two pens in a row didn't work, I wouldn't take it as some sort of divine sign. I'd say, "Why don't any of your pens work? What's going on? Can you just give me a pen that works, please?" The best bit is at 2:16 when that woman goes, "What? No! No!" The entire production team of one of the biggest budget shows ever made all saw that and went, "Yep, sounds good to me."

2. Subtext is overrated. (Firefly, #1.2: "The Train Job.") Go to 8:30 - 8.47:

Don't get me wrong, I love Firefly as much as the next nerd. But there are 3 things wrong with it: The theme tune, most of the first episode, and this bit. Mal leaves the room, and River says, "Mal... bad... in the Latin." Thanks River. You're meant to be a genius and that's what you come up with. And you say it as if you've solved some ancient riddle that holds the key to life. You've barely said a word until now, then you deem it worth opening your mouth for that.

1. Bono ruins everything. (Scrubs, #2.19: "My Kingdom.")


Is that the worst plot device ever used? Yes, it is. Firstly, no one loves U2, so that's a gaping plot hole. At best, people tolerate U2. At worst, they dream of committing disturbingly specific acts of violence upon U2. Probably, I wouldn't know... But the joke here is that U2 sounds like "you too." Now that is genius, take note, River. U2 sounds like "you too", I'm laughing so hard I just choked up my own heart and stamped it to death.

You just wonder how some things make it onto TV. It's not like the internet, where anyone can put any old shit...

Thanks for reading, I'll leave you with the excellent Big D and the Kids Table song that this blog is named after, enjoy!