tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83295798773147955322024-03-05T09:06:47.401+01:00MindlessBasically stuff that is too long to tweet. Mostly reviews probably.Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.comBlogger137125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-51047678538581226212018-01-06T02:46:00.000+01:002018-01-06T02:49:27.896+01:00About A Girl<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: justify;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and one of them is Bono.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.2px;">The tax-dodging crooner recently <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/music/2017/dec/28/music-has-gotten-very-girly-says-bono-from-u2" target="_blank">commented</a> that music has become too "girly", proving once again that no amount of philanthropy can offset being a cunt.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">Not only does this comment seem strange coming from a man whose own music is so bland, I also think Bono is harking back to a time that never really existed. I'm going to use words like "girly" and "manly" not because I think they mean anything but in order to address this topic using Bono's terminology. Or Bonology.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.2px;">As long as there's been rock music, there's been "girly" rock music. And that's pretty much what's made it good. The Rolling Stones were one of the first great rock bands, but were they particularly "manly"? Mick Jagger was a slinky dancer with maracas. Keith Richards was wearing his girlfriends' clothes. I'm not saying this undermines their masculinity in any way, I'm saying the idea that rock music was ever macho is a myth. They were popular because they appealed to everybody.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.2px;">Maybe he means hard rock. But Kiss wear ridiculous make-up and Led Zeppelin songs are all about Lord of the Rings. After racking my brains for a manly rock band all I can come up with is Steppenwolf, and that's just because I only know the one song and it's about motorbikes.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.2px;">The band Bono uses to illustrate his point is </span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">Pearl Jam, as though long hair, plaid shirts and singing about emotions is the height of testosterone.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"> If you can't see the femininity in grunge then you might consider removing your fucking sunglasses.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">Kurt Cobain was a poetry-writing kid who became seriously depressed when his music gained popularity among the kind of jocks who used to beat him up because he didn't meat their standards of masculinity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">I think this is why I find Bono's comment so offensive. It's indicative of a small-minded attitude, a kind of dogma that seems antithetical to a genre that I love for its inclusiveness. But </span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">I'm not sure Bono understands rock music. Which explains why he's so shit at it.</span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-59924789628020722222017-08-31T16:47:00.000+02:002017-08-31T16:47:31.996+02:00First It Gwyneth Then It Taketh Away<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My string of monthly blogs was recently broken when I managed to smash my laptop screen (that'll teach me to watch M. Night Shyamalan movies on YouTube), but I have to come out of hibernation to comment on one of my favourite subjects: Goop. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The pseudoscience website where magicians are physicians has come in for a fair share of criticism lately, "fair" being the </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">operative</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> word. First, the medical community <a href="https://drjengunter.wordpress.com/2017/01/17/dear-gwyneth-paltrow-im-a-gyn-and-your-vaginal-jade-eggs-are-a-bad-idea/" target="_blank">criticised</a> the brand for recommending placing jade eggs in your vagina. Then <a href="https://www.sciencealert.com/dear-gwyneth-your-goop-energy-stickers-are-not-made-with-nasa-material-nasa" target="_blank">NASA</a> had to step in to address false claims made by Goop over so-called "energy stickers". Then <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/aug/24/gwyneth-paltrows-goop-faces-new-false-advertising-claims" target="_blank">last week</a>, an advertising watchdog complained about the company's deceptive marketing. And those are just the tip of the lettuce.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Head-in-a-box actor Gwyneth Paltrow hit back at her critics yesterday, when she had </span><a href="http://www.thisisinsider.com/gwyneth-paltrow-criticism-of-goop-is-deeply-unfair-2017-8" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">this</a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> to say on her friend's podcast:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The website recently attacked </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">OB/GYN </span>an</span><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">d awesome Goop critic </span><span style="font-family: '"arial"', '"helvetica"', sans-serif;">Dr Jen Gunter for swearing, but I guess it's ok when GP does it because she's paying them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Anyway, Gwyneth thinks that when people call her out for disseminating misinformation it's "so deeply unfair," because apparently she's becoming the Donald Trump of... whatever the fuck it is she does. How dare you hold me to human standards of decency. Don't you know who I am? I was in <i>Mortdecai</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She continues: "I wish that people would actually like read the article or do their homework." They're scientists. They have done their homework. Dr Jen Gunter? Done her homework. NASA? Done their homework. That's kind of the point. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You know who hasn't done their homework? The shamans, spiritualists, medical mediums, dumpling enthusiasts, psychological astrologers, </span><span style="font-family: "\22 arial\22 " , "\22 helvetica\22 " , sans-serif;">integrative structural specialists, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">pelvic floor authorities, herbalists and </span><span style="font-family: "\22 arial\22 " , "\22 helvetica\22 " , sans-serif;">go-kart specialists</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> who write for Goop. And yes, those are all taken from the website. I collect them on post-it notes and stick them on my computer at work. Because yes, I do like read the articles.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Paltrow, however, does not - at least according to her </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6pfrT3bHpM" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">recent</a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> appearance on Jimmy Kimmel, where she admitted</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">“I don’t know what the f</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; text-align: left;">uck </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">we talk about!” It's possible that she was joking. It's also possible that she wasn't, and that she has as much contempt for her audience as one might expect from someone who was in <i>Mortdecai</i>.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To Gwyneth Paltrow, a hypocrite is just some sort of healing stone you might put in your anus. It doesn't matter what Goop says, as long as the revenue and snake oil is flowing. There is no lie too big for Goop to print, no product too useless to flog, and no methods too low to do so. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">"Your work stands for itself," adds Paltrow. Who was in <i>Mortdecai</i>. </span></span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-12448502029148199172017-05-25T01:55:00.000+02:002017-05-25T01:55:00.890+02:00Twitter Patter<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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"Of course, I'm no expert" - no-one on Twitter.</div>
— Adam Kay (@amateuradam) <a href="https://twitter.com/amateuradam/status/864968249523548160">May 17, 2017</a></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and one of them is Twitter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've been spending a lot of time on Twitter recently, and it's doing my fucking head in. I think it's the way every tweet - at least all the ones that get shared - is constructed according to one of just three or four templates. For anyone to get a joke on Twitter, it has to be written like a joke on Twitter. And I find it really depressing when everyone speaks the same.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some of these lazy Twitter joke constructions include:</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dear... </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As in "Dear 2016. Please stop killing celebrities. Sincerely, the world." I don't know if it's supposed to cute, or funny, or why you'd bother reaching for your phone to add to the endless slew of identical tweets. Dear people who write tweets like this. Please stop.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Your daily reminder that...</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I saw one recently that said "</span><span style="color: #14171a; letter-spacing: 0.27px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Your daily reminder that pineapple, in fact, goes on pizza.</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">" It got 310 retweets. Like the previous one, this is just a way of prefacing one's tedious opinion in a way that's been sanctioned by the dullards of Twitter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Me:... Also me:...</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This comes from the Evil Kermit meme, which is essentially about internal conflicts. On Twitter, people say things like: "Me: I have to get up early. Also me: Watches Netflix until 3am." Hahaha, people are so complex! Sorry, not complex. Boring.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I had more of these, but the problem is clearly that I am an old person complaining about the way kids talk on the internet. Who cares? I'm just jealous that my tweets never get any reaction, because they're massively unfunny and mostly to do with Star Trek. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But while I'm here, here are some miscellaneous tropes that I'd ban if I became dictator of Twitter - or Louise Mensch, as she's known.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Memes, threads, lol used ironically, "lads", lol used sincerely, <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; text-align: left;">arguing with trolls, retweeting Katy Hopkins, </span>and shortening the word fascism to "fash".</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here's DJ Shadow.</span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-9967968965761668922017-04-06T02:52:00.000+02:002017-04-06T02:54:37.857+02:00Because I'm Worthless<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are three more of them.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Everyone is justifiably annoyed at that idiotic </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfCiV6ysngU" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;" target="_blank">Pepsi</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;"> advert, when clearly the most effective way to advertise Pepsi would just be to say it's cheaper than Coke.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">But when you live at the cinema like me, you see worse adverts than that every day. So here are three more shitverts - shampoo edition!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1. <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/rgpHeJI0NdQ" width="430"></iframe></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first shampoo with a brain. More than can be said for whoever came up with that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2. <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/E_3QYyU6nrE" width="430"></iframe> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Shoulders carry the promise of late nights you'll never forget. Catchy. They'll all be yelling that one in the playground.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3. <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kFMOdNIEj7c" width="430"></iframe></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">An advert supposedly championing inclusivity and difference that exclusively features conventionally attractive people. Facile slogans about self-confidence do not change the fact that as a cosmetics company you're in the business of telling people to look better.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On that angry note, I'll leave you with a Jane's Addiction song about showering.</span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-47925681346430777902017-03-15T02:34:00.001+01:002017-03-16T00:43:56.496+01:00Beware the Ides of March<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As you know, I love everything in the world, with the exception of three things. One of those things that I love is the Grateful Dead.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Looking back on this day in history, 15 March is a significant date for a number of reasons. For starters, it's the Ides of March, which was the day in 44 BC when Julius Caesar was stabbed in the base of the Curia - ouch! More recently, it's also the birthday of two of my favourite people: Grateful Dead bassist Phil Lesh and genius filmmaker David Cronenberg. Long live the new Lesh! Plus, the movie <i>The Godfather</i> was first released on this day in 1972, directed by Deadhead Francis Ford Coppola - after seeing a Grateful Dead show in 1979, he was inspired by the rolling thunder effect of the two drummers, and enlisted them to play on the <i>Apocalypse Now</i> soundtrack. Which brings me to the point: on this day in Dead history, the band made one of their more bizarre appearances back in 1969.</span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="150" mozallowfullscreen="true" src="https://archive.org/embed/gd69-03-15.sbd.cotsman.4280.sbeok.shnf&playlist=1" webkitallowfullscreen="true" width="500"></iframe><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="text-align: left;">Picture the scene: you're invited to </span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: left;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Black & White Ball</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="text-align: left;"> at the San Francisco Hilton, a fundraiser for the </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">San Francisco Symphony</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">. A group of hippies shamble onto the stage, plug in their instruments and unleash a cacophony of baroque psychedelia and a song about trying to sleep with a 17-year-old girl. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">They were never invited back.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">The complete setlist is uncertain, but what exists is this electrifying recording, taped by countercultural icon Owsley "Bear" Stanley - more on him another time. The tape </span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">begins with a fairly shambolic version of Otis Redding's Hard to Handle, which they'd never played live before, and by the sounds of it, never practised much either. Things pick up with Good Morning Little Schoolgirl, a perfectly acceptable subject to sing about in the '60s, before the boys launch into their typical 1969 run of Dark Star -> St. Stephen -> The Eleven -> Lovelight. And it's glorious - particularly The Eleven, a song I've written about <a href="http://dan-mindless.blogspot.co.uk/2016/11/the-eleven.html" target="_blank">before</a>. Despite a cut in the recording at the start of the track, this is up there with the best they ever played it - an electric dose of colourful improvisation in 11/8 time. Ju</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">st imagine going to a black tie event 28 years ago today, and being confronted with </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: start;">that</i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.</span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-31240734428978897892017-02-21T01:32:00.000+01:002017-02-21T01:37:42.381+01:00The Slogan<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are three more of them.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">It's time for another month of awful adverts - terrible tagline edition!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not only does this Coke advert feature the worst song ever recorded, it also includes one of the worst slogans: 'Taste The Feeling.' Gross. I think 'Tasty Feeling' would have made more sense.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Speaking of not making sense, Stella Artois appear to have adopted the nonsense tagline: 'Be Legacy.' Even worse is the way alcohol adverts are now obsessed with telling us their founder's backstory, as though anyone cares about booze beyond: "Will it get me drunk or not?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This type of ironic voice-over does cause in me the kind of visceral reaction I associate with Subway, but I also think 'Keep Discovering' is a blatantly bad slogan for a sandwich shop. In fact it's probably the worst possible slogan for a sandwich shop, except maybe: 'Our sandwiches are full of blood.'</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'll leave you with Somewhere in the Between by Streetlight Manifesto, an album celebrating its 10th anniversary and still one of my favourites.</span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-73605405793072877642017-01-19T00:39:00.000+01:002017-01-19T00:39:01.335+01:00Fried Neckbones<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are five more of them.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">I'm talking about adverts again. But aren't there worse things to be worrying about? Yes.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm no advertising expert, but I have seen every episode of Mad Men, and I'm pretty sure it's a bad idea to keep repeating that there are chicken beaks in your food. What I take away from that advert isn't the actor pretending to be a 'food quality inspector', but the thought that there are definitely 100% guaranteed chicken feet in McNuggets.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Similarly, I'd avoid phrases like "We are thoughtless" or "We are cruel" when trying to make people trust me with their money. Just a thought.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I couldn't find the particularly awful Dove advert I was looking for, but this one suggesting that you can shower in 13 seconds is either very stupid or aimed solely at Quicksilver from the X-Men.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">4.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's something not quite right about this one. I can't put my finger on it. Is it the eerie sci-fi music? The creepy whispered voice-over? Oh I know, it's because it's an advert about HEATING CHILDREN'S ARSES.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">5.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And the award for the world's most cynical advert goes to Amazon Prime! Congratulations Amazon, you win a trophy full of sick.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here's Santana.</span><br />
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-29778256758196720482016-12-29T01:12:00.000+01:002016-12-29T01:32:52.977+01:003 To 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.2px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and one of them is people making the same tedious observation about 2016 being a bit rubbish.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Speaking of things no one cares about, here (in no particular order) are my top 3 albums of 2016.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Mountain Will Fall - DJ Shadow</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">This year I got to see one of my musical heroes play live, and DJ Shadow did not disappoint. In fact he was one of the best live acts I've ever seen, with incredible visuals surrounding him. I even shook his hand, so if anyone wants to touch my hand in turn please do let me know. Shadow's new album </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">The Mountain Will Fall</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;"> sees the trip-hop pioneer continue to push himself into new realms of electronic music, with hip-hop, jazz and euphoria vying for space on the record. The album also gave us one of the best music videos of the year:</span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Gore - Deftones</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In 2016 I finally got to see Deftones, and they also turned out to be one of the best live acts I've ever experienced. Their music is bludgeoning, beautiful and completely transcendent, all illusatrated on their new album <i>Gore</i>. Not only is the opening cut <i>Prayers/Triangles</i> an amazing way to start an album, the track <i>Doomed User</i> is one of the best songs they've ever recorded. I still don't have a clue what Chino Moreno is singing about most of the time, but I can highly recommend running while listening to Deftones; it's like being chased by wraiths.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was always my dream to become a Blue Man (like my other hero, </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Tobias Fünke) or one of their neon-clad drummers. </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They're best known for their internationally phenomenal live shows that combine music, comedy and technology to explore a variety of ideas, including otherness as represented by these blue-skinned outsiders. But they also produce highly innovative studio records using many musical instruments of their own invention, often involving hitting PVC pipes to create a strange, melodic, percussive sound. <i>Three </i>is so-called because it's their third album and the Blue Men always appear in threes, and it features more of the same rhythmic alien rock. Enjoy!</span><br />
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-55507638338457759422016-11-15T03:01:00.000+01:002016-11-23T01:26:01.425+01:00The Eleven<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">"Nobody likes jazz that much... even the guy playing it had to take drugs!"</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As you know, I love everything in the world, with the exception of three things. One of those things that I love is songs in 11/8 (or 11/4).</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Where would we be without the number 11? Danny Ocean would be bereft of a crew. Spinal Tap's amps would have nowhere to go. [Insert football player - do not forget to come back to this] would have to run around with a different number on his football jersey. But most of all, we'd be without these 5 groovy songs written in the time signature 11/8 (or 11/4) just to be difficult.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Eleven Four - The Dave Brubeck Quartet (1962)</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With the possible exception of Stephen Hawking, nobody knows time like Dave Brubeck. The cool-jazz pioneer seemed allergic to straightforward time signatures, resulting in classics like Take Five (which is a pun) a</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">nd saxophonist </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Paul Desmond's E</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">leven Four (which is not).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Eleven - Primus (1991)</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This typically disonant track by bass-driven avant-garde rock band Primus showcases Les Claypool's muscular bass riffs, Tim "Herb" Alexander's rolling drum beats and Larry LaLonde<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">'s screaming guitar work, with non-conformist lyrics and time signatures.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>I Say a Little Prayer - Aretha Franklin (1968)</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Although originally recorded by Dionne Warwick, it's Aretha Franklin's version that reigns supreme thanks to soulful vocals and melodic arrangements. The chorus uses an 11-count, proving that it's not just for pretentious jazz and druggy metal.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Whipping Post - The Allman Brothers Band (1971)</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I think this blog is really about my music taste being all over the place. In any case,<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525;">Gregg Allman's blistering Whipping Post riff is written in 11/4 and is well worth a listen if you have 23 minutes to spare. No? Fair enough.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525;"><b>The Eleven - Grateful Dead (1969)</b></span></span><br />
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Because I'm incapable of writing a blog or holding a conversation without mentioning the Grateful Dead, check out the scorching beauty of this psychedelic masterpiece and its trippy lyrics. I'm not entirely sure what a "jingle bell rainbow" is, but I'd very much like to find out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">An honourable mention goes to </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hey Ya! by OutKast (2003), for being (presumably) the only number 1 single with an 11-count. The Mario Kart 64 (1996) </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">results screen music also demonstrates the versatility of my favourite time signature. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A better blogger would have listed 11 examples. Or at least published this blog on the 8th November. Or even just explained what 11/8 actually means. But ironically, I don't have time.</span><br />
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-18008233831089924702016-10-26T01:39:00.000+02:002016-10-26T01:39:07.806+02:00No<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">It doesn't make any sense!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and one of them is adverts that don't make any sense. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No, we do not get dressed every day. We're not in the army.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No, we have not forgotten about TalkTalk's mass negligence. And no amount of pandering is going to trick us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No, Adam and Toni are not taking part in a social experiment. They're taking part in an advert.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here's Kyuss. </span><br />
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-86361273656055343912016-09-13T00:48:00.003+02:002016-09-13T00:51:58.231+02:00Sick Sad Lidl World<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw6gJrqtRFCdNK_7VPL4uTG-R5v_tlW3O5PNJ3Wy2mm6YTL3gaB9OUKMPyAcftJO82w4_gW7Q3WBWLVAdoYlZCmqOSn366eIpIY_3rYYu_-bXF_68V8LCEEkneTcW8f0be99VNx4iC2tcm/s1600/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw6gJrqtRFCdNK_7VPL4uTG-R5v_tlW3O5PNJ3Wy2mm6YTL3gaB9OUKMPyAcftJO82w4_gW7Q3WBWLVAdoYlZCmqOSn366eIpIY_3rYYu_-bXF_68V8LCEEkneTcW8f0be99VNx4iC2tcm/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are three more of them.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">This year, cinema adverts have been almost as bad as the </span><a href="https://screengoblin.com/" style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;" target="_blank">films</a><span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;"> themselves. For example...</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">1. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This one annoys me because he abandons his car in the middle of a traffic jam. Red Bull might give you wings but clearly not brains.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I think I remember going to that club when I was at uni.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lidl are doing a series of passive-aggressive adverts in which fake customers pretend to voice concerns about the origin of the company's produce, only to have the supermarket wake them up at some ungodly hour, send them out to sea and confront them to prove a point. I'm trying to get involved:</span></span></div>
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I'm concerned about where <a href="https://twitter.com/lidl">@Lidl</a> get their Panda Cola. I hope it's not from real pandas.</div>
— Dan Meier (@MiniMeier) <a href="https://twitter.com/MiniMeier/status/775462942624063488">September 12, 2016</a></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">Here's Incubus.</span></span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-22548486258393001962016-08-23T01:48:00.000+02:002016-08-23T01:51:36.650+02:00Digging In Your Nails<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPMH9PWvrp8jaG2g6d_SrAVbX-YsppqwdbjIAR5r3CYEdjDkjVdgTzbh7SIWrOjhCTEDybQf7trFFcIeaC9-Mn9vjQuRy23IGsWlTCM_wQUJdiMXrUPt5m5pRIVPaMwMpGluWbeGim_H5Z/s1600/gwyneth-paltrows-quotes-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPMH9PWvrp8jaG2g6d_SrAVbX-YsppqwdbjIAR5r3CYEdjDkjVdgTzbh7SIWrOjhCTEDybQf7trFFcIeaC9-Mn9vjQuRy23IGsWlTCM_wQUJdiMXrUPt5m5pRIVPaMwMpGluWbeGim_H5Z/s320/gwyneth-paltrows-quotes-4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and one of them is goop (((again) again) again).</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">It was with mixed feelings, therefore, that I read last month's news that Oscar-winning pseudoscientist Gwyneth Paltrow was separating (though she'd probably call it "consciously uncoupling") from her crypto-fascist lifestyle website goop. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">On the one hand, this will likely result in less bullshit, and a reduction in the amount of bullshit in the world can only be a good thing. On the other hand, what am I going to blog about now?!</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Does this spell the end for articles such as <a href="http://goop.com/why-yoga-is-changing-schools/" target="_blank">this</a> piece calling for yoga to be taught in schools? It actually gave me a flashback to the time my PSHE teacher tried to make us meditate as part of an ill-advised "relaxation" session, which my friend Shaun and I failed to take seriously and ended up having to write sarcastic letters of apology to the teacher. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"We are sorry we were too relaxed during Tuesday's meditation lesson..."</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Or <a href="http://goop.com/nail-polish-for-littles-and-mids/" target="_blank">this</a> article about nail beauty for children, which starts with the unbelievable sentence: "</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It’s the rare child—male or female, beauty-involved or beauty-indifferent, young or old—that isn’t delighted by a pedicure or manicure."</span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Admittedly, everything I</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: start;"> </span><span class="hvr" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: start;">know</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: start;"> </span><span class="hvr" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: start;">about</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: start;"> kids </span><span class="hvr" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: start;">could</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: start;"> fit </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: start;">on</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: start;"> a child's</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: start;"> fingernail, but I'm sure children don't care about their nails. Why do you think they're always biting them? It's not for the taste. For a child, it's hard to imagine a worse day than a trip to a Beverley Hills manicurist, followed by an hour of yoga and then all back to Gwyneth's for a <a href="http://goop.com/recipes/turkey-shepherds-pie/" target="_blank">gluten-free dairy-free shepherd's pie</a>. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: start;">But gp lives in a bizarro world, and I might just find that I miss my weekly window into her organic cauliflower brain.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: start;">Here's Big D and the Kids Table.</span></span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-63199216820859288272016-07-27T01:09:00.000+02:002016-07-27T01:10:02.422+02:00Laughing Navy Types<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9WKGKUiZbiuj-NR5IATYh31nQBeakhOESDLKT4zuROOcbBrPUIr62U1wzEGILU1jdJDQZfJpy-JinAdzeOsAWIcxerr5tWGkzpi7KskjI5hvF6znt1yd4bfnKto-Jha4hwNd9xedkDL1H/s1600/o93avnzywwmxqpj8r6ifjxme.320x320x1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9WKGKUiZbiuj-NR5IATYh31nQBeakhOESDLKT4zuROOcbBrPUIr62U1wzEGILU1jdJDQZfJpy-JinAdzeOsAWIcxerr5tWGkzpi7KskjI5hvF6znt1yd4bfnKto-Jha4hwNd9xedkDL1H/s320/o93avnzywwmxqpj8r6ifjxme.320x320x1.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are three more of them.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 18.48px;">I went to the cinema last night (<i><a href="https://screengoblin.com/2016/07/25/star-trek-beyond/" target="_blank">Star Trek Beyond</a></i> AKA <i>Mission Impossible</i> in space) and winced my way through another set of insipid adverts, three of which were...</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 18.48px;">1. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To reiterate, this was before a<i> Star Trek</i> film. It doesn't exactly scream Starfleet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Because nothing says sexy and sophisticated like<i> Are You Being Served?</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">#YouKnowItsSummerWhen McDonald's makes you feel sick <i>outdoors</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here's Donald Fagen:</span><br />
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-78847770303383092962016-06-30T22:32:00.001+02:002016-07-01T00:22:35.708+02:00Beer<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheleFVHhEbFnwBwEf_Ffsap66kQDfDttldl8TlrKqDKR3-2a5lAZiiziwLaRTkmzclnxtNNSTzB21HpaKTK2UgRR_jI5fDHVsPhsUkWiBoKOxidWrfrqb2Hf5f4l_GZoULrrhUblX2p_fb/s1600/to-alcohol.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheleFVHhEbFnwBwEf_Ffsap66kQDfDttldl8TlrKqDKR3-2a5lAZiiziwLaRTkmzclnxtNNSTzB21HpaKTK2UgRR_jI5fDHVsPhsUkWiBoKOxidWrfrqb2Hf5f4l_GZoULrrhUblX2p_fb/s320/to-alcohol.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are three more of them.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">I just went to the cinema (</span><i style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">Elvis & Nixon</i><span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;"> - better than </span><i style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">Batman v Superman</i><span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">) and accidentally sat through the adverts because TFL got me there on time, the bastards. These were 3 of the worst.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">1. </span></span></div>
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There were not 1 but 2 separate Coke adverts, in case there was any danger of going a whole day without seeing any Coca-Cola advertising. This one has something to do with football and intimidating night-time rallies. If my country ever does call, tell them I'm not home.</div>
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2. </div>
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All McDonald's adverts present a bizarre version of the "restaurant" that does not and has never existed. Personally speaking, I can't remember the last "good time" I had in a McDonald's... what year did they have <i>Pocahontas</i> toys in Happy Meals?<br />
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If you're sick to death of twee fucking ads / and pray those smug arseholes are hit by a cab / or maybe dismembered by huger killer crabs... there's a beer for that.<br />
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Here's Reel Big Fish.<br />
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-56608965290248485532016-05-05T01:53:00.000+02:002016-05-05T02:00:14.075+02:00Mistress of the Salmon Salt<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18.48px;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and one of them is goop ((again) again).</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">It's time for another round-up of bullshit from everyone's favourite former actor, spiritual guide and pseudoscientist, who doesn't appear in the new Captain America movie as she and Tony Stark have consciously uncoupled.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGNdTHY22XwPje7MHXI8DKQoIeI4KK3uzigEBjkisfn_dCGlCY8H2WGdHIHyP3R4o58gaA5qYwFtfnkndnJVWbv7c36jF2JVka331zGA43tU1YNZntZZt2joFB6Rupg1hdOdKwOQ5HZY85/s1600/Screen+shot+2016-05-05+at+00.01.52.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGNdTHY22XwPje7MHXI8DKQoIeI4KK3uzigEBjkisfn_dCGlCY8H2WGdHIHyP3R4o58gaA5qYwFtfnkndnJVWbv7c36jF2JVka331zGA43tU1YNZntZZt2joFB6Rupg1hdOdKwOQ5HZY85/s1600/Screen+shot+2016-05-05+at+00.01.52.png" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">A few years ago, it was </span><a href="http://jezebel.com/gwyneths-goop-is-bleeding-money-and-1-5-million-in-deb-1565509453" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;" target="_blank">reported</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;"> that the company was hemorrhaging money (the same company that gave Gwyneth a £350,000 salary plus an interest-free loan of £29,200). Since then, every article has been a barely concealed advert. For instance, <a href="http://goop.com/the-coolest-invention-of-2016-cold-pressed-juice-at-home-with-no-mess/" target="_blank">this</a> piece about a $700 juicer, which opens with the line: "Mention at-home juicing to anyone who’s really tried it and the first thing that inevitably comes up is the nightmare of clean-up." Unless you put the lid down.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">Next, goop helpfully provides some Mother's Day <a href="http://goop.com/the-just-for-you-mom-gift-guide/?utm_source=bronto&utm_medium=email&utm_term=Read%C2%A0more&utm_content=Read%C2%A0more&utm_campaign=2016_04_25_newsletter-coach&_bta_tid=18727813511054720285839623284718252509670790948053384687954424880432644" target="_blank">gift ideas</a>, ranging from $650 slippers to a $10,500 bracelet (above). You know, for Mother's Day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">Some of the other items in the goop shop include</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;"> a $73 wooden spoon and 1oz of salt for $10 (left).</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">The bullshit continues with <a href="http://goop.com/the-new-secret-beauty-formula-intention/" target="_blank">this</a> enlightening piece about beauty companies who chant and play music to their skincare products. Why? I have no idea. But goop is convinced, inviting us to "consider the fact that people bless food all the time," as though that makes it anything other than certifiably insane. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">GP has form for <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/gwyneth-paltrow-thinks-negative-words-and-sounds-can-hurt-water-s-feelings-9486230.html" target="_blank">this</a> sort of thing, having previously championed the idea that being mean to water can affect its molecular structure. So it's not the first time her risible beliefs have landed her in hot water (sorry).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'll l</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">eave you with </span></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.2px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Blue Öyster Cult. Try playing it to your exfoliating cream.</span></span><br />
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-23154585677059738862016-04-27T00:27:00.001+02:002016-04-27T00:27:02.416+02:00Our Shadows Taller Than Arseholes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are three more of them... music edition!</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>1. The cunts suing Led Zeppelin for supposedly plagiarising Stairway to Heaven. </b>All songs are based on other songs, and whatever Led Zeppelin took, they turned it into something new and set a new fucking standard in rock music. In any case, the people suing are the Spirit guitarist's <i>family</i>, so they had no creative involvement whatsoever. Trying to rinse money from a song that's brought so much joy to the world is just greedy, but doing so when you have literally nothing to do with it is pathetic. Mind you, I remember the Olympics when Jimmy Page was on that London bus with Leona Lewis, so I feel I'm owed some compensation too.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>2. Jukebox musicals. </b>It's a hack observation, but the idea of creating a show based entirely around someone else's songs strikes me as the height of laziness. I have no interest in seeing the songs of The Kinks sung by people who aren't The Kinks, strung together with a vague nod towards a story. I say this as someone who's sat through both The Commitments <i>and </i>Mamma Mia! During the latter, I preempted every song by saying "ooh, ABBA" in mock surprise. It was really funny. And then it wasn't. And then it was again. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">3. People who insist that music was best when <i>they</i> were young. </b><span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">What, you think it's just a massive coincidence that the best period of music happened to coincide with the time that your tastes were forming, or you were listening to the radio and watching Top of the Pops, or regularly buying the NME? It seems small-minded and arrogant to ignore the enormous history of music and buy into such an unlikely coincidence. Especially as the people in question generally grew up in the '90s. </span></span></span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-68597508019952381992016-03-30T01:14:00.000+02:002016-03-30T01:17:49.514+02:00Plus Plus<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are three more of them. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1. </span><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qpk8eSpRBnY" width="430"></iframe><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This bizarre corporate tie-in attempts to simultaneously advertise an airline and a horrible <a href="http://screengoblin.com/2016/03/26/batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice/" target="_blank">film</a>, and fails drastically at both. Batman v Superman? Paint v the Drying Process.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2.</span> <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/B9zyamtH34k" width="430"></iframe><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now with added shitness. Call me cynical, but I don't want my bank being cute at me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's something deeply depressing about this one. Maybe it's the awful advert music, or maybe it's the idea that we're doomed to live and die in cars like some wretched Ballardian nightmare.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: left;">Here's German funk band Poets of Rhythm!</span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-56806377254199611542016-02-29T00:45:00.000+01:002016-02-29T00:48:39.436+01:00A Toast<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and one of them is goop (again).</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;">Welcome back to goop-watch, where I share some of the wisdom found in this week's Gospel according to Gwyneth.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 18.48px;"><b><a href="http://goop.com/how-to-give-a-great-and-memorable-toast/?utm_source=bronto&utm_medium=email&utm_term=Read%C2%A0more&utm_content=Read%C2%A0more&utm_campaign=2016_02_25_newsletter&_bta_tid=3.AIvR.CJsNXw.F244.AUmHhQ..AgvGNQ.b..s.AkaQ.n...gHmCiA" target="_blank">The key to a great toast? Being friends with famous writers! </a></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;">This enlightening article on giving speeches begins: "We’ve all been there: Cringing through an endless, or obnoxious, or embarrassing, or inappropriate, or just plain self-absorbed toast." Though I'm pretty sure it was meant to say "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG9p1FFwxb0" target="_blank">Oscar speech</a>."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;">Then <i>Nurse Jackie</i> alumna Liz Flahive gives some advice on making a speech, though if it's anything like <i>Nurse Jackie</i> it'll amount to starting strongly and soon petering out.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px; text-align: left;"><br /></span></span><a href="http://goop.com/recipes/superpowered-avocado-toast/" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 24px; text-align: left;">Avocado toast will always be a diet essential."</span></b></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;">The toast theme continues with a recipe for avocado toast. But not just any avocado toast. This avocado toast is "superpowered", so expect to see it in the next <i>Iron Man</i> film, sprinkled with Pepper Potts. Apparently, it will give you "great skin - inside & out." Whatever that means.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;">Join me next time on goop-watch for more crypto-fascist recipes.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Until then, here's A Toast by Malcolm Middleton and David Shrigley, which really says it all.</span></span><br />
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-37212936136995806002016-01-30T03:43:00.000+01:002016-01-30T03:43:52.475+01:00Skinned<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and one of them is goop.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;">As you'll know if you follow me on <a href="https://twitter.com/MiniMeier" target="_blank">twitter</a> or in real life, I'm slightly obsessed with Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle website / Hollywood cult magazine, and thought I'd share with you a couple of the insights gleaned from this week's issue.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 18.48px;"><a href="http://goop.com/why-bone-broth-is-so-good-for-us/" target="_blank">Drink stewed animal bones</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;">According to goop, "bone broth is a magic superfood" - simply simmer your leftover animal bones for 36 hours and enjoy. This is actually one of many dietary habits that Hollywood A-listers share with the <i>Texas Chain Saw</i> family. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;">Scrubbing the body using "a soft but firm brush" not only stimulates the lymphatics, it also "sweeps away dead skin cells." I'd argue that the same is probably true of steel wool, but I thought Lymphatics was a character from <i>Asterix</i>, so what do I know?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 18.48px;">They recommend brushes made from "medium soft cactus bristles", available for a mere $39 from the goop store - in so many ways a shop for pricks.</span></span><br />
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-82122926969160536852015-12-27T15:50:00.000+01:002015-12-27T15:50:11.670+01:00Album(s) of the Year<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.2px; text-align: justify;">Everyone lying about not voting Conservative, the return of Coldplay, Terminator Genisys... but at least we've had some good music. Here, in no particular order, are my top 3 albums of 2015:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.2px;"><b>Sol Invictus - Faith No More</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.2px; text-align: justify;">Faith No More's first album in 18 years did not disappoint. 10 great tracks showcasing the band's gloomy heavy riffs, odd time signatures and Mike Patton's incredible voice, which has lost none of it power - while his brilliant lyrics cover topics ranging from leprechauns to motherfuckers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>To Pimp a Butterfly - Kendrick Lamar</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">An album that's sure to top many people's lists, To Pimp a Butterfly is a game-changing hip-hop record - politically potent and musically challenging. Obama called the track How Much a Dollar Cost? his favourite song of the year. Too bad he also features on the new Coldplay <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2015/11/24/politics/barack-obama-coldplay-album-amazing-grace/" target="_blank">album</a>.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Division of Spoils - The Flatliners </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This one isn't really an album, it's a collection of b-sides and rarities - but it's my blog so fuck off. Get your own blog. Stretching from their ska/punk beginnings to their contemporary punk sound, the record compiles 23 superb tracks from Canada's finest export since William Shatner.</span><br />
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-82791142259187334362015-11-30T00:24:00.000+01:002015-11-30T00:24:01.695+01:00Christmas Shopping at the All Night Garage<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are three more of them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">Once a year is way too frequent for Christmas. They should make it every four years, like the World Cup or leap years. It would make Christmas feel more special, make me feel less angry, and (most importantly) reduce the number of horrible Christmas adverts. Here are three more awful ads, and some of the questions they raise.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"The unexpected bank"? Isn't being "unexpected" quite bad for a bank? Isn't that what caused all this financial mess?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then why do they taste like that?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's Joe Cornish's All Night Garage from Adam & Joe's Song Wars!</span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-72153224034955257772015-10-24T00:59:00.000+02:002015-10-24T00:59:51.247+02:00Our Swift Impending Fall<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are three more of them. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>3. Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans:</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For me, these represent J. K. Rowling's inability to think through an idea. Why would wizards eat jelly beans that taste like vomit? Because they're <i>magic</i>? We muggles do have the technology to make sweets that taste like bogeys. Ask anyone who's had the pick 'n' mix at an Odeon. I believe the Harry Potter studio store even sells Every Flavour Beans, for a mere £35 per bean. We can make earwax flavour confectionary if we so choose. But we don't. Because that would be stupid. Mind you, Revels are inexplicably popular, so what do I know?</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>2. This sort of thing:</b></span></span><br />
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<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJCNyWv8yfm9SGg10C2AWUL9POay3XXXPr992EyZl3Zj5VEOD2zcLs1QbzU1ZCTlF6TRC90fKUHAg1ZCiOz25GtDkDpVuWyQ71m2OK_4557APD7SQM2gIyUjBaS43hfHs-SHan032-JdPP/s1600/photo.PNG" style="float: left; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-right: 1%; width: 30%;" /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm2Tp2h_yOD1ZqONwfeF5_Z7rLeALm-X7p0Me-VeOWEMO8Ak_ORtNXtBcx5td2BQN8nXnYWMfMvF8vVRyeS96Tg_Y3DwnsNIOiP1Td1fSMizDoTkZARyAMQr4_SYkgjmGHjK2bRdn3m2V5/s1600/photo+%25282%2529.PNG" style="float: left; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-right: 1%; width: 30%;" /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit94omtiJTqJSrASaToZDus_IljV1JKCdM8OV7smN-0X4lK9nqu7OcnwNggFFqU9xcQ5bn2PYgmwACOF1roZ9QvVvZWwS98SzlCUY5Y16nsbgJzhyJL5mzhJH6-RCOfoeEAN7t1AC7sDMZ/s320/photo+%25281%2529.PNG" style="float: left; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-right: 1%; width: 30%;" /><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.48px;">I've spent a lot of time wondering why my Facebook friends voluntarily "like" the most evil corporations. Masochism? Brainwashing? Demonic possession? But I think I've finally solved it: my Facebook friends are a bunch of cunts.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.48px;"><b>1. Taylor Swift:</b></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.48px;">It's not the music that bothers me (it is), it's the constant complaining about not getting paid enough. It's true that as the way we consume music changes, we need to make sure lesser-known musicians are getting their fair share. But when multi-millionaire popstrel Taylor Swift insists that "music should not be free", I can't help but feel it harming that cause. Meanwhile, bands like Radiohead are happy to give music away for free, because they know that it's both financially viable and artistically rewarding. Why is it that the only musicians moaning about money are the least creative musically? It's almost as though they only really care about money. Maybe that's unfair. Money <i>and</i> fame.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">Thanks for reading, here's Would You Be Impressed by Streetlight Manifesto, quoted as saying (of their latest album): "Feel free to steal the shit out of it."</span></span></span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-420543827465849812015-09-25T00:03:00.000+02:002015-09-25T00:03:04.570+02:00Selling Silly Putty Door to Door<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: black; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are three more of them. They're adverts, naturally.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's nothing worse than a beloved movie character being used to sell car insurance. What next? Yoda selling phones?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.48px;">2. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few questions...</span></span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I've witnessed moments which are beyond any descriptive power." But aren't you supposed to be a journalist?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why are you praising Ronald Reagan for money?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are you doing in a fucking glasses advert?</span></span></li>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.48px;">1. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This belief-defying advert is the ickiest thing I've seen since that Republican presidential debate. Who makes Audi's adverts? David Cronenberg?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll leave you with one of my favourite songs, Wilt by Blind Melon. </span><br />
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-10166959848122492162015-08-18T03:00:00.003+02:002015-08-18T03:00:32.733+02:00In The Pit<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizLLoF4N5nvafjPSMfVyGcREmsT9I7QVZRxkcVPSiUeZQd5oQ-eXS3QyOHjt2KBu2DHahMcTGUEqusSsH2uqqp4LmAIBLSfX-_bAjr6_ygYDIgFYc1zGaYGqzhopmv8iFZXLC0t5FeBojX/s1600/youngones.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizLLoF4N5nvafjPSMfVyGcREmsT9I7QVZRxkcVPSiUeZQd5oQ-eXS3QyOHjt2KBu2DHahMcTGUEqusSsH2uqqp4LmAIBLSfX-_bAjr6_ygYDIgFYc1zGaYGqzhopmv8iFZXLC0t5FeBojX/s320/youngones.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As you know, I love everything in the world, with the exception of three things. One of those things that I love is live ska/punk albums.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here, in no particular order, are my top five:</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. Mad Caddies - Live From Toronto: Songs in the Key of Eh</span></b></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyY-1QrhFfycIEcxPFWkXg_UaTthqRhDcUfYFGxgMOcnjHbtol4FnWlt2dkDI6ihTkyrQdecwQKMc0_FLf-3TQFZOmvsRr1DesGcjvOhta5stL9g2z8AmbngIIk_JL8VyT49c1dsnk96_J/s1600/424276.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyY-1QrhFfycIEcxPFWkXg_UaTthqRhDcUfYFGxgMOcnjHbtol4FnWlt2dkDI6ihTkyrQdecwQKMc0_FLf-3TQFZOmvsRr1DesGcjvOhta5stL9g2z8AmbngIIk_JL8VyT49c1dsnk96_J/s320/424276.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not only is <span style="line-height: 18px;">it a brilliant name for an album, Songs in the Key of Eh showcases the Mad Caddies' mad mix of swing, ska and sea shanties. There's no filler in </span><span style="line-height: 18px;">this</span><span style="line-height: 18px;"> 2004 performance, released by </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 16.1200008392334px; text-align: left;">Fat Wreck Chords - the independent punk label founded by NOFX frontman Fat Mike.</span><span style="line-height: 18px;"> The Californian seven-piece tear their way through punk, polka and pirate music. Why are the Caddies so good? Because they arrrrr.</span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Live from the Middle East</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Talking of great names for albums, Live from the Middle East was actually recorded at the Middle East club in Boston - home of the Bosstones, and therefore of skacore. It was the Mighty Mighty Bosstones who first fused Madness-style ska with the hardcore genre, and this 1998 live album plays out like a greatest-hits-so-far. The setlist is perfect, the energy extraordinary and Dicky Barrett sounds like a giant cigarette that's formed a ska band.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>3. Reel Big Fish - Our Live Album Is Better Than Your Live Album</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Another fantastic name, Our Live Album Is Better Than Your Live Album sees Reel Big Fish kick everyone's asses. Recorded in 2006, this double-album is really the ultimate expression of the ska/punk stalwarts' lunacy. The music is as tight and energetic as we've come to expect from these gatekeepers of third-wave ska, who really took the Bosstones' plaid sound and ran with it like headless chickens. It's also hilarious from start to finish - more schtick than you can shake a stick at!</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Incontrolable - Ska-P</span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj86Mn_XDETgUzABFjLwzr3Xa7_pdb9NrhkO8A1GMd774uYeeVPrsUJPyl1qqoUVFFqoY4comcfnkiEK5bdwL_DHJkZwBio1wrz_dtvoEIgrBZknuqKXLsEYK4rCtgCxRJ1-eqdavFccreL/s1600/Ska-P_-_Incontrolable.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj86Mn_XDETgUzABFjLwzr3Xa7_pdb9NrhkO8A1GMd774uYeeVPrsUJPyl1qqoUVFFqoY4comcfnkiEK5bdwL_DHJkZwBio1wrz_dtvoEIgrBZknuqKXLsEYK4rCtgCxRJ1-eqdavFccreL/s1600/Ska-P_-_Incontrolable.jpg" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Like Reel Big Fish, Ska-P are a band with a zany image but incredibly skilful arrangements. But on top of that, the Spanish ska/punkers have a political edge, which surfaces throughout this relentlessly impressive live album. Recorded across Europe in 2004, Incontrolable exhibits the band's powerful brass-driven hard rock, their wonderful sense of humour and their anti-establishment social stance. Plus there's a cat driving a bus on the cover - what's not to love?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>1. Sublime - Stand By Your Van</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAFWnh0Faw8zjfyJIjotESl7nefg1vyBXygjY3GhhtaH6hxlRZ6CrJ0pZPSJiwO9rsJdLzyEQywNltNT_FvOAdeSc9SpmV0Q5efVxPOIllCjNQoQAiWxvrhLSNzQtpq_GJCMlSRRtmqwJ5/s1600/Sublime-StandByYourVan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAFWnh0Faw8zjfyJIjotESl7nefg1vyBXygjY3GhhtaH6hxlRZ6CrJ0pZPSJiwO9rsJdLzyEQywNltNT_FvOAdeSc9SpmV0Q5efVxPOIllCjNQoQAiWxvrhLSNzQtpq_GJCMlSRRtmqwJ5/s1600/Sublime-StandByYourVan.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Another band crucial in popularising third-wave ska, Sublime's raw energy and musical ingenuity are sublimely represented on Stand By Your Van - a retrospective live album recorded between 1994 and 1996, when Bradley Nowell died of a heroin overdose. It may lack the ingenious production and sampling displayed on their albums, but for Sublime, a bass, guitar and drums are All You Need. Oh, and a dog. </span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8329579877314795532.post-59979621492596414532015-07-08T01:18:00.000+02:002015-07-08T01:18:27.077+02:00Price I Pay<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuwswvdlvwxjXtCF0xJkQ5s0Wpmywqdhn42cZ6mcRY-b1EF0mo8d9bxBoRUvCldPhBM83CbpJ3s8XhtZ1LX9XtFx-l-vSwWyxJPTFYpT4HSpZz7zV24sQVPefhLVPqyz6-cxAOE_NqLOze/s1600/slavelabor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuwswvdlvwxjXtCF0xJkQ5s0Wpmywqdhn42cZ6mcRY-b1EF0mo8d9bxBoRUvCldPhBM83CbpJ3s8XhtZ1LX9XtFx-l-vSwWyxJPTFYpT4HSpZz7zV24sQVPefhLVPqyz6-cxAOE_NqLOze/s320/slavelabor.jpg" width="266" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.4799995422363px; text-align: justify;">There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are three more of them. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.4799995422363px;">The worst thing about adverts is that they're everywhere. On the tube, at the cinema, during RuPaul's Drag Race... they're inescapable. Here are three more shitverts* (* thanks Charlie Brooker)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.4799995422363px;">1. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You get what you pay for" is clearly a terrible slogan. It implies either high expense or low quality, neither of which you want associated with your product. Perhaps they realised, because the slogan has mysteriously disappeared from the advert...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lidl: it almost tastes the same as actual food! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cortana: when Clean Bandit call, remind me to lie in front of a train.</span></div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17678885297863073477noreply@blogger.com0