Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Sucker Train Blues

There are only three things in the world that I hate, and one of them is trains.

I know I've complained about trains before but the other day an incident cemented their place as the world's worst mode of transport, worse even than buses, Megatron and the truck from Duel. Ok maybe not worse than buses.

So I was standing on a train when a seat became free. I went to sit down on it but noticed someone else heading for it. He was considerably older than me, I'd guess around 60, so I stopped to let him take the seat because I am a nice boy. But upon sitting down, the man looked up at me and said: "Not fast enough!"

Now, he clearly hadn't realised that I'd let him take the seat. But that just makes it even worse train etiquette! You don't stick two fingers up at people who miss your bus, or piss on the taxi queue through the window of a cab. I would have no moral qualms about punching that old prick in his stupid old face. 

But obviously I didn't do or say anything, because as I mentioned I am a nice boy. But that means he still thinks he was actually faster than a young (nice) boy. I should have challenged him to a fucking foot race. But instead he'll believe he genuinely beat me to that seat until the day he dies. Which will be relatively soon, so that's some consolation.