There are only three things in the world that I hate, and one of them is Boris Johnson.
It's bad enough that we're meant to love having a funny mayor, the word "funny" here meaning "racially insensitive" and "unfunny". Call me boring, but I think the requirements for representing London, with all its vibrant diversity, should be more than just a few appearances on an increasingly terrible TV panel show with silly hair and a posh voice. "But he chased away those people that time!" Fuck off. He's a right-wing self-publicist who can't open his mouth without being inappropriate, or sexist, or otherwise offensive. So no, I don't find him funny, because I'm not a child or a racist.
So imagine my absolute delight when this happened. I know that complaining about the content of The Sun is akin to criticising a child's drawing, but it seems that Boris Johnson's comments are part of a serious problem. He's telling us to "cut out the whining" about the Olympics, which is awful enough because you can hear it in his stupid voice. But what's really troublesome is that by "whining" he means criticising. There's something genuinely worrying about members of the government effectively telling us to shut the fuck up.
It would be too easy to dismiss these comments as a light-hearted bit of fun from Boris Johnson, or "Boris" as he's vomit-inducingly known. That's how he gets away with being a fucking idiot, people just shrug and say, "oh it's just Boris, he was so funny on Have I Got Shit For Brains." He's not your slightly racist grandmother, he's the fucking Mayor of London. He's an elected representative, and as such we have a right to criticise him. He can't tell us to "put a sock in it", no matter how hilariously fucking quaint it sounds. He has to listen to us. That's his job. "Enough whimpering" is not a legitimate response to legitimate criticisms. Not only is it insultingly patronising, it's an attempt to close down discussion. Democracy should be about dialogue. Boris Johnson's attitude is problematic because when he supposedly playfully says shut up, he actually means it.
Boris Johnson isn't the only offender though, this is a conservative viewpoint; that we should just let the men in charge get on with it without making a fuss. A few months back, William Hague said that we'll fix the economy by working harder, "rather than complaining about it." Again, we're being told by our government to shut the fuck up, this time with legitimate criticism labelled as "complaining".
We are certainly not short of legitimate grievances; PC Simon Harwood has been found not guilty, because apparently hitting someone with a baton as they walk away from you is "reasonable force"; Jeremy Hunt still has a job, and isn't in constant pain which is completely unfair; yesterday the Treasury minister claimed it was "morally wrong" to pay builders in cash, which is obviously a much greater problem than rich people deliberately avoiding paying millions of pounds worth of tax; I was walking through St Pancras station earlier, and one of those screens with a big Olympics themed McDonald's advert wasn't working. Fix it, Boris Johnson. Fix it by hand.
But instead of listening to us, the government goes "ssh now, silly humans. Stick this special commemorative Jubilee lollipop in your mouth and be quiet while we spend £80 million on a big fucking yacht." We're given the Jubilee and the Olympics to shut us up for a bit, like parents giving their child a rattle to distract it from their messy and violent divorce.
So I won't "cut out the whining" thanks, because as the government it is your job to listen to me. Well not me, obviously, because I don't live in London and also I'm a fucking idiot. But they constantly try to close down discussion and expect us to just be ruled without questioning, and that's not good enough.
Thanks for reading this rant, I'll leave you with the Madness song that this blog is named after. Enjoy!