Saturday, 24 October 2015

Our Swift Impending Fall

There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are three more of them. 

3. Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans:

For me, these represent J. K. Rowling's inability to think through an idea. Why would wizards eat jelly beans that taste like vomit? Because they're magic? We muggles do have the technology to make sweets that taste like bogeys. Ask anyone who's had the pick 'n' mix at an Odeon. I believe the Harry Potter studio store even sells Every Flavour Beans, for a mere £35 per bean. We can make earwax flavour confectionary if we so choose. But we don't. Because that would be stupid. Mind you, Revels are inexplicably popular, so what do I know?

2. This sort of thing:

I've spent a lot of time wondering why my Facebook friends voluntarily "like" the most evil corporations. Masochism? Brainwashing? Demonic possession? But I think I've finally solved it: my Facebook friends are a bunch of cunts.

1. Taylor Swift:

It's not the music that bothers me (it is), it's the constant complaining about not getting paid enough. It's true that as the way we consume music changes, we need to make sure lesser-known musicians are getting their fair share. But when multi-millionaire popstrel Taylor Swift insists that "music should not be free", I can't help but feel it harming that cause. Meanwhile, bands like Radiohead are happy to give music away for free, because they know that it's both financially viable and artistically rewarding. Why is it that the only musicians moaning about money are the least creative musically? It's almost as though they only really care about money. Maybe that's unfair. Money and fame.

Thanks for reading, here's Would You Be Impressed by Streetlight Manifesto, quoted as saying (of their latest album): "Feel free to steal the shit out of it."