Monday, 18 October 2010

Funky Runthrough

There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are five of them.

I don't have enough to say on one particular issue, so here is the run-down of the five things that have most annoyed me since I last blogged. Imagine the TOTP Whole Lotta Love riff in the background as you read.

5. The film Green Zone. How could a film about weapons of mass destruction be boring? Well they managed it. Nothing happens for most of the film, and then there's a ludicrously long chase sequence at the end. The most annoying thing about it is the way Matt Damon is the only one to think, wait a minute, what if there are no weapons of mass destruction? Well done Matt Damon. Now maybe show less fucking contempt towards the Iraqis? Oh, no he just spat on some more of them. Silly Iraqis. Look how angry they get when you invade their country! Hahahaha. And that one's only got one leg!!! I don't like war films generally, but this was the least engaging film I've seen for a long time.

4. The fact that I've apparently got to do 12 hours of reading per week per module. I do three and a half modules this term, so thats 42 hours of reading per week. That's six hours of reading per day. When will I have time to do important things, like blogging and watching That '70s Show? It's as if the university don't even see those things as important!

3. This sentence: "Though a tired fancy in itself, [this] at least serves to show up a real and (I suspect) a profound difficulty, of providing any model of an unending, supposedly satisfying, state or activity which would not rightly prove boring to anyone who remained conscious of himself and who had acquired a character, interests, tastes and impatiences in the course of life already, a finite life." (B. Williams.) Fuck off. George Orwell would be spinning in his grave. Six hours a day of this. B. Williams is a cunt.

2. Those annoying pretentious adverts. People complain about adverts like the Go Compare one, which is fair enough, it is a fucking annoying advert, but thats the whole point of it. Its deliberately annoying, it knows its being annoying, thats what its there for, to be annoying. It doesn't think its anything other than annoying. What pisses me off more than adverts like that are adverts that think they're really clever. They're generally for alcohol or perfume, and adverts for alcohol especially can be excellent. But the ones I mean are the ones with, say, a woman running down a cobbled street in Italy, and its raining, and its "stylishly" shot, and then she runs past a man in a suit who's drinking the advertised vodka, and he drops the drink and starts to run after her, and the vodka splashes onto the cobbled street in extra-ultra-super-fucking-slow-motion and the name of the vodka appears against a black background in the style of a film poster and is read out in an accent. I could definitely be in advertising. But you know the ones I mean. They're pretentious and think that being set in Europe and shot in black and white and having no words makes them clever. They can fuck right off. Don Draper would not approve.

1. I don't know, the... fucking... Tories.

So that was my runthrough of the five most annoying things since the last blog, hooray! Please comment with things that have annoyed you. Or haven't annoyed you. Anything, just comment, please. And this blog was named after a song by funk group Poets Of Rhythm, the song which I will leave you with.

1 comment:

  1. actually laughed out loud AGAIN! Well played sir! By the way this is Kathryn :)
    Will retweet it for you later :)