Ape Me

There are only three things in the world that I hate, and here are five more of them.

The more time I spend at the cinema, the more I become convinced that the film industry is just taking the piss. Here are five more stupid pieces of movie marketing.


5.

That's right, the follow up to Rise of the Planet of the Apes is to take the equally cumbersome title Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. If there are any marketing people reading this: There should be no more than one "of the" in a title. You fucking idiots.


4.

"Gravity: They say you can't fight it. Well I disagree." 

Jump off a fucking cliff then.

3. When does music stop being music? I reckon it's about here:

 

2. I have a new worst movie I've not seen:

 

 

It looks uncannily like Ken Korda's Speeding on the Needlebliss from The Adam and Joe Show. And that's not just me being rude, it actually does. Look:

 

1. Here's quite a famous scene from quite a famous film:

 

And here's Sam Raimi talking about it:

Why the fuck would Dorothy throw acid? Where would this acid have come from? Why would she be throwing acid on the Scarecrow to extinguish the flames? Let's hope Sam Raimi never becomes a firefighter, in a weird Fireman Sam reboot where he just sprays acid everywhere and destroys entire cities. That still wouldn't be as horrific as his Spider-Man trilogy. 

That scene is one of the most famous moments not just in The Wizard of Oz, but in cinematic history. And apparently Sam Raimi hasn't even seen the film. Oh well, it's not like he's just directed the prequel or anything.

Oh. Here's Rape Me by Nirvana.