Monday 6 December 2010

Would You Like Lemon Or Lime With That Piece Of Advice Mister?

There are only three things in the world that I hate, and one of them is the ambiguity surrounding new institutionalism in political science.

But enough of that now, instead let's play: Agony Aunt To The Stars! I will be offering advice to some famous people, some of them fictional, by answering their letters! Also, apologies if I get some of the locations wrong. Let's crack on with our first letter!

>Jack Bauer
>Bristol, UK

Right now, terrorists are plotting to assassinate a Presidential candidate, my wife and daughter have been targeted, and people that I work with may be involved in both. I'm federal agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life.

Well Jack, we've all felt that way at times! You're clearly working too hard, all that stress will be the death of you, hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Just relax, take some time for you. Some hard-earned Jack-time. Let other people do things for you for a change. Just slow down. Maybe have a nice, long, warm, relaxing bath.

>Rocky Balboa
>Boxing

Blhgorzxhorkasdkhjlgfjhfkldjkhladfskjldfskjldfshiuasplkgakjlafshiuasghjasdfgagajaaaaaaaaajhdsjhfgsjfsdhlshhluashjbs.

...

>Mel Gibson
>Mel-Gibsonville

I hate Jews!

You also hate black people!

>That boring cunt from Inception
>France, France

The moment's passed. Whatever I do I can't change this moment. I'm about to call out to them. They run away. If I'm ever going to see their faces I've gotta get back home. The real world.

No one cares.

So thanks for playing Agony Aunt To The Stars! Leave any letters from famous people as comments! The title of this blog is from the song Untutored Youth by The Hives. I'll leave you with their best video, Two Timing Touch And Broken Bones. Enjoy!




1 comment:

  1. ive often wondered why you never get agony uncles, i guess this is the answer.

    ReplyDelete